Chapter 154
945words
"How'd he take it when you told him he can't do any of it?"
"Not well, but I got him to calm down by letting him pick one thing on the list we can do" "What'd he pick?"
"The dude ranch" I reply with a blank stare
She laughs "you two on a ranch? I'd love to see that"
"This is serious Julia! I don't think Ezra's taking his meds when he says he is, if I don't see him do it anymore I feel like he lies when he says he does."
"Miles of course he lies! Those medications make him so slow and unaware of everything"
"I know and I hate forcing him to take them but I can't handle who he becomes when he's not on them" it's a roller coaster when he's off his meds, he starts off happy and excited about everything which leads him to make horrible decisions, and when he's told no or he can't do that he loses it and it's been way worst than this morning. "What am I going to do?"
"Rehab is always an option Miles, you don't have to do this all alone, especially when you've been doing it for years. I know you love him but you haven't lived your life for yourself since middle school, you can't forget about yourself."
"I'm scared Julia, what if he goes away to rehab and he forgets me again?" In high school Ezra and I were secretly dating and he was court ordered to go to rehab after getting angry and stealing a teacher's car trying to drive it off a bridge. He was caught in time but he smashed the car and they didn't want him back into the school until he got help. When he got out he completely forgot who I was and I worked so hard to get back what we once had. I vowed to take care of him because I don't want him to ever look at me like someone he doesn't know, and I truly believe that I'm better for him than any rehab, or at least I used to be.
"If you don't get him help Miles forgetting you won't be the worst thing he'll do, he can hurt you" "Ezra would never hurt me" I don't know if I even believe that anymore. Getting up "I should head to
the store, I left him a note saying I ran to the grocery store"
"Call me if you need help"
"I will" I kiss her on the cheek before I leave.
—
"Hey!" I walk in and he's sitting on the couch staring at the tv blankly "Hi" he shoves spoons of cereal in his mouth.
Our kitchen is right across from the living room so I watch him as I put the groceries away "sorry I wasn't here when you woke up" I call out
"I got the note" he replies.
Finishing his cereal he sits the bowl on the coffee table "can you bring that in here please?" I know he'll leave it there. Getting up he walks over dropping the bowl in the sink. Ignoring me he turns to walk away but I grab his hand "hey are we ok?" I pull him to me wrapping my
arms around his waist looking at him. His doctor say when I ask him questions or make statements it's better to say we, and never single him out because it can be a trigger if I say the wrong thing.
"We're fine" he replies grabbing my face kissing me "can I go back to my tv now?" "Wanna help me put these away instead?"
"Sure" I let go and he starts to hand me things to put in the fridge "so I called and canceled the dude
ranch when I woke up"
"Why? I was excited to go" I stop and give him my attention
"You were right, we can't afford it but it was nice of you to at least let me keep one thing" "I wanted us to have today you know that right?"
He nods "one day we will" he puts what he was holding down and walks to me "until then we'll have our tiny apartment, my favorite place in the world" I smile as he comes closer and slowly kisses me.
Picking me up he sits me on the counter as we continue to kiss. Holding me tight I passionately kiss the man I love, he takes my sweater off leaving me bare chested like him. "Are we really gonna have sex on the groceries?"
"That'd be really irresponsible of us"
"Here I'll fix it" pushing all the food off the island I turn back to Ezra who wasn't expecting it "oops?"
I laugh
"You're crazy" he laughs along. "How about a piggyback ride to our actual bed?" "I love piggyback rides!"
"I know!" I jump on his back and he runs to our room. Tossing me on the bed he climbs over me,
raising his head above mine he looks into my eyes "I love you Milton"
I roll my eyes "don't call me that" raising my hand to his face I hold him in my palm "I love you too you know that"
"I know" he kisses me. Ezra never ceases to amaze me and remind me why I love him so much. He's the only thing I've ever known.
