Chapter 68
1080words
It's night and he's at home on the couch with nothing better to do than to stare at the wall and think of all the ways he's messed up, Nico's mom walks in "hey," she sits next to him and he doesn't bother looking at her or replying. "Did all your homework?" He nods, "and studied for you chem test?" Nico nods again, his mom realizes she's not going to get much out of him so she starts talking more. "I was thinking earlier about how I haven't seen much of you lately," she thinks it's because he's out having fun with friends but really he just drives to Clay's house and sits outside in his car thinking if he should go in. "I mean I guess I would have something to say about that, but I got your progress report the other day and so far they're all As."
She smiles and Nico is too far gone to take a compliment but she continues, "I know Darlington can't be easy, but you're very smart and I'm so glad to see you're proving me wrong." Nico doesn't want her seeing how sad he truly is, but hearing her say that hurt him to his core because he knows he hasn't been doing good. The only reason he's focused in class is because he has nothing else to put his focus on, but her saying he's proving her wrong makes him sad because he knows he's not. "I'm proud of you Nico" as soon as she reaches over to touch his back, all the tears he was afraid to show just fall down his cheeks. She sees and moves closer asking "what's wrong?"
"Nothing" he quickly stands up wiping his eyes walking away to lock himself in his room.
Another day of school meant another day of Nico trying to talk to Clay and Clay not caring. While at his locker shoving books in his bag,
Clay shuts it when he's done and turns to find Nico standing there. He sighs "what do you want?" "Will you talk to me please?"
"No, Nico" Clay puts his bag on his back walking away.
"Ok then can you at least listen to me?" Nico makes the mistake of grabbing Clay's hand, not expecting him to react the way he does, the
next thing Nico knows is Clay pushing him against the lockers holding him there.
"I told you to stay away from me!" He barks and everyone walking by looks at them "Is there a problem?" A teacher walks up to them asking
"No" Nico quickly denies as Clay lets him go, "we're good." The teacher walks away "I wanted to end
it ok, I tried multiple times to tell Christian that I couldn't keep doing this because I knew it would hurt you, but he wouldn't let me. He said that if I ended things with him he'd tell you the truth" Nico talks and Clay doesn't show any interest until the last bit.
"He forced you?" Clay looks at him
Nico shakes his head "no, but it felt like I didn't have a choice"
"Seems like you did have a choice and you made it." Clay walks away leaving Nico standing there, but he turns back "remember when I told you to be upfront with me if you wanted to be with him, and you said that I was enough? Guess you were lying then too huh?"
"I didn't lie" Nico walks to him, "I genuinely meant that Clay." "Then when did you stop meaning it?"
"I never did, everything that happened after that was just a mistake I couldn't keep from happening."
"Which part? Kissing my brother, or letting me kiss you?"
Nico takes steps closer trying to make Clay understand, "you weren't a mistake" "Maybe not but you were," Clay walks away.
After school Nico walks to his car climbing in, he couldn't wait to be home in his bed where it's safe.
Putting the key in he turns it but the car doesn't start, Sighing he tries again to no avail. "Come on!" He keeps trying and nothing is happening, "fuck!" frustrated he starts hitting the wheel feeling like this is happening to him on purpose for being a terrible person.
With no other option, he takes out his phone calling his mom, "Hi honey" she answers As tears are falling from his eyes, "can you come pick me up? My car won't start"
"Oh, no is it the battery again?"
"I don't know" he tries his best not to sound like he's sad or that he's crying, "I just want to come home."
"Ok, no worries I'm on my way." He hangs up tossing his phone. Laying his head on the wheel Nico sobs, he thinks back to earlier in the day when Clay called him a mistake. How could he have screwed up so bad so fast?
It hurts worst for Nico because this was nothing he's used to, Nico's never liked someone as much as he likes Clay and to see how much he's hurt the first guy he's ever had true feelings for, it's tearing him up inside.
When his mom finally makes it Nico takes everything out of his car, walking to her car he gets in the passenger seat. "Hi" she smiles, once he's in and sees he's been crying "everything ok?"
"Not really" He replies in a low voice
"Don't worry" she pulls away, "we'll get your father to call a tow truck to pick it up later." As she's driving Nico's mom can't help but notice the distressed look on her son's face. "Do you want to talk about what's bothering you?" She asks knowing he'll probably just shut her down
Nico could easily say no and bottle up how he's feeling, but he's starting to feel like he couldn't take it anymore. So, for the first time he's actually going to open up to her, "there's a boy" he starts avoiding his mom's face
"Already?" She turns to him "Forget it" he gives up
"No I'm sorry" she quickly apologizes, "it's a reflex, I won't say anything I'll just listen."
